Friday Night, Self-Date Night
Financial planner Rachel Burns on the joy of sweet, sweet solitude.
On Fridays, we talk about the ultimate self-care tool, the self-date. Because you are your own hot Friday Night date!
I love being alone, and I think more people should learn to love their own company. I love it so much that I wrote an ebook all about how to be your own best friend (called How To Be Your Own Best Friend), you can grab a copy here. One of the steps to being your own best friend is taking yourself on a date!
…you start to realize how truly amazing being alone can be. You can take your time because there’s no one to rush you. Alternately, you don’t have to wait for anyone, you call the shots on where and when you go. You’ll soon realize how freeing it is to have the only opinion that matters.
And, taking care of yourself by dating yourself makes you a better friend to others. When you meet your own needs you can be more present for the other people in your life. Like your childfree friends. Listen to the latest episode of The Spinster Life Podcast to hear my discussion with friendship expert Kat Velllos.
Self-Date Chats
Where I talk to other women about how they approach self-love, self-care, and self-dates.
Today we’re chatting with Rachel Burns. She’s a Certified Financial Planner specializing in helping newly single women feel empowered managing their own finances. She’s also the mom of 5-year-old twin boys.
Head on over to her website to learn more about how being single affects your finances. You can also listen to her guest spot on The Spinster Life Podcast.
Rachel, what is your experience with self-dating?
I got married later in life, so I used to be a very experienced self-dater! I seem to have ghosted myself once I got married and had kids, though. My own well-being became my lowest priority, which has impacted my physical and mental health.
What do you love most about self-dates?
I LOVE the serenity of being by myself. I have always enjoyed my own company, but now that I have little kids, I treasure quiet moments alone. I spend the time thinking about my personal and professional goals, and it gets me energized and motivated to be productive.
Where do you go on your self-dates?
I love to go out for a glass of wine by myself in the middle of the day. I find a dark, super quiet bar with very few other customers. I don't read anything or look at my phone. I just enjoy the wine and the peace and quiet!
What is your ultimate self-date activity?
I love to get massages. The older I get, the more aches and pains feel, so I really appreciate a good massage. I love the dark room and the relaxing music. I try not to fall asleep so I can savor every minute!
Your words of wisdom for someone who is hesitant to take themselves on a date.
I think it's important to learn to enjoy your own company. You can't always rely on others for entertainment or companionship. By becoming more reliant on yourself, you take the pressure off of your loved ones.
What do you have planned next?
I am looking forward to taking myself out for a pedicure tomorrow!
Any parting words of wisdom
If you find yourself in a caretaker role, it's important to prioritize self-care. I know it's cliche, but it's so easy to put your own needs last on your list of priorities. You are responsible for yourself first. You will be in a better position to care for your loved ones if you are cared for yourself!