'Tis The Season Of Reflection
I talk to fellow podcast host Lucy Meggeson about spending quality time by yourself, whether you call it a date or not.
On Fridays, we talk about the ultimate self-care tool, the self-date. Because you are your own hot Friday Night date!
The best part of self-dates is being alone. Full stop. And I’m not just saying that as an a introverted misanthropic cynic. I’m also saying it as an only child who had (and has) a rich inner life and lots of practice enjoying my own company.
So in this season of togetherness, I’ll be using my my alone time to reflect on what embracing my single life has created for me. And how will I create the best environment for deep navel-gazing and organizing my random thoughts into coherence?
My Recipe For Reflection:
1 Part Solitude
1 Parts Contemplative Mood
Add garnishes like favorite notebook or ultimate playlist. Stir gently until a dramatic personal revelations occur.
My love for being alone is on full display in this YouTube video about being alone, and of course in my ebook, How To Be Your Own Best Friend deals teaches you how to be alone.
Self-Date Chats
Where I talk to other women about how they approach self-love, self-care, and self-dates.
Today, we’re chatting with my fellow Spinster podcaster Lucy Meggeson. She’s the host of the podcast Spinsterhood Reimagined.
Tell us more about yourself, Lucy!
I'm 47, single, childfree...and loving it! I live in leafy south-west London close to the river (my daily therapy). I worked at BBC Radio 2 for years, but have made big changes in my life over the last few years, not least starting my podcast, Spinsterhood Reimagined. I've also been on a bit of a 'spiritual journey' over the last few years, and am working hard to carve out and create a life on my own terms. I have a cat (who I'm obsessed with) called Johnny Depp - the love of my life.
Are you a self-dater?
I wouldn't say I'm a self-dater, although I've never had an issue with going to eat out alone / go to the cinema alone etc but it's not something I do very often. However, I think the concept of self-dating is brilliant, and it's important that us single gals feel confident enough in ourselves and our lives to feel as though we can go wherever we like, whenever we like, to show ourselves a good time!
What’s your favorite thing about being alone?
This is a tricky one to answer because there are SO many things that I love about being by myself! In truth, I love everything about it, and without my alone time I very quickly start to feel slightly deranged. But I guess I love the fact that when I'm on my own I can just be me, doing the things that really light me up (that might well seem boring to other people!), like going for big walks along the river, listening to inspirational podcasts, hanging out with my cat, working on my podcast, and generally just living my best life without having to worry about anyone else's agenda or needs.
Truth be told, it would take ALOT for me to sacrifice (yes, it would feel like a sacrifice) my single life. Also, living alone is so incredibly underrated. People are all too quick to assume that living alone is in some way tragic or sad, but for me, my home is my sanctuary, my safe place, and my happy place. Living alone rocks. The end.
Where do you love to go by yourself?
I love to go for daily walks along the beautiful stretch of the River Thames where I live. But further afield, I'm pretty obsessed with doing US road trips and have done a couple by myself.
What’s your favorite self-care activity?
Taking time every morning to meditate, do breathwork, and go for a walk. If I get those three things done first thing, it's a good day.
Your words of wisdom for those that don’t like being alone.
Life is all about the lens through which we view it. So if anyone out there is struggling with being alone, I would encourage them to really try and see it from a different perspective - find / follow other people who are evidence that it's more than possible to absolutely relish and adore time spent alone, like me!
And really lean into the things that bring you joy - there is, after all, so much to learn, so much to do, so much to be. Being single and subsequently spending time alone is, in my mind, an exciting opportunity, and I wish more people would see it as such.
What’s your next self-date?
I haven't taken myself on a self-date for a while, but I think the next one will have to involve finally seeing the Barbie movie, and then dinner at a local tapas restaurant.
Anything else you’d like to share?
One final thing I'd like to say to all the singles out there is this: it is more than possible to live a happy, fulfilled, meaningful life without a partner. And in many ways it's a privilege that we have extra time to spend on the things we're passionate about.
I would always encourage single women to really embrace where they're at because life is so, so short that it would be a shame to waste time wishing for a partner when there's so much life to be had.
Thanks Lucy! Listen to her podcast, Spinsterhood Reimagined, or follow her on Instagram.